Break Away From Addiction

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Tuesday, January 24, 2017

High buhay! A recovering addict's road to redemption

Posted By: The Mail Man - 11:27 PM
Renzel Gutierrez narrates how he got his life back after a long, hard-fought battle with drug addiction. Patrick Quintos, ABS-CBN News

Renzel Gutierrez is proud of his new life and his work, helping drug-dependents in the process of getting their life back at a private rehabilitation facility in Quezon City.

Having to deal with issues of addicts almost every day, the 21-year-old admits the job requires a lot of patience.

But it helps a lot to actually know what they are going through, said Gutierrez who a few years back finished a rehabilitation program after years of substance abuse early in his life.

"Nakikita ko 'yung sarili ko sa kanila. Kaya minsan, kahit gusto kong magalit, siyempre ikaw ang staff, kailangan i-lebel mo ang sarili mo sa kanila. Ganyan ka rin dati," he told ABS-CBN News.

(I see myself in them. Sometimes, even though I want to get mad, I try not to because as a member of the staff, I have to put myself at their level. I was just like them.)

Gutierrez smoked his first marijuana joint when he was a second-year high school student. Soon after, he began selling the drug in and around his school, a "business" which got him in trouble with authorities.

Seeking to get away from dealing with a broken family, Gutierrez got his first taste of methamphetamine hydrochloride, locally known as "shabu," at age 15. It was easy for him to get the drug, because he lived in a place where illegal substances were accessible.

"Nu'ng una, gumagamit ako ng shabu, pakonti-konti lang. Pero nung nag-fourth year [high school] na ako, gusto ko na malaki. Hinahanap-hanap ko na," he said.

(At first, I only used meth sparingly. But when I got to my fourth year in high school, I wanted more. I started to habitually look for a fix.)

Gutierrez used shabu continuously for nearly four years. At the height of his substance abuse, he was a teenage dad living with his partner. He turned to crime to support his habit and his family.

"Pinahirapan talaga ako ng drugs. Hindi ko kayang bumangon nang walang drugs. [Pakiramdam ko,] hindi ko kayang mabuhay nang walang drugs," Gutierrez said about his fixation. (Drugs made my life difficult. I could not get up in the morning without drugs, and I felt like I could not live without it.). "Ang hindi ko inisip, 'yung pumatay o mang-rape. Pero ang dami kong ginawang kasalanan—panghoholdap, pangangarnap." (I never thought about killing or raping anyone. But I committed a lot of sins—hold-ups, car theft.)

As Gutierrez's addiction worsened, so did his relationship with family and friends, until even these ties almost broke.

The one person he could not live without, who he almost lost at the height of his addiction, was his wife.

"Dumating 'yung time na muntik na akong magpakamatay. Iniisip ko nang magpakamatay kasi 'yun 'yung time na nakabuntis ako ng ibang babae. Muntik na akong hiwalayan ng asawa ko e. Sa totoo lang pag nawala 'yung asawa ko, di ko na kaya,” he said. (There came a time when I almost killed myself. I thought about it because I got another woman pregnant. My wife almost left me. If she left me, I could not go on.)

It was a tipping point in his life. He did not know what to do and he could not think of someone to seek help from because of the mistakes he made. 

"Na-depress na ako, wala na akong malapitan. Nagkulong ako sa bahay," he said. "Dumating 'yung time na sinabi ko sa sarili ko, 'hanggang dito na lang ba ko?'" (I became depressed, I could not reach out to anyone. I stayed home...Then one day, I said to myself, 'Is this the end of the line?')

Realizing he was ill and that he needed help, Gutierrez sought the help of his aunt, a nun, who fortunately did not give up on him.

Gutierrez ended up in a private rehabilitation center that a priest friend of his aunt had referred him to. At first, he could not take it and wanted to back out.

"Kung ikaw first-timer sa rehab, siyempre maninibago ka—ano bang ginagawa ko dito, sinong kasama ko?" he said. (If it is your first time at rehab, you'll get culture shock—what am I doing here, who am I with?)

Gutierrez recalled how hard the old rehab program was for him, as strict discipline was enforced. There was even a period when he thought of backing out from the program.
"Ang hirap! Mahirap talaga kasi 'yung program ngayon saka 'yung program ko nun, medyo may pagkakaiba," he said. (It was so hard! The program was difficult, and a little bit different from the programs used today.)

Gutierrez, however, admitted that the program was effective for him. One more challenge he faced when he was in rehab was homesickness. His family and relatives were not immediately allowed to visit him as he went through the program. Then, after six or seven months, his family was able to see him. This made him realize what he almost lost due to addiction, motivating him to do better.

Bernie Termulo, one of the people who handled Gutierrez's rehabilitation, said that every day is a struggle, even for drug-dependents who finished rehab programs.

"It's like having diabetes—you stay away or you regulate your sugar. For life. Ganoon din ang drug addiction (Drug addiction is the same). Every waking day, you tell yourself, 'no to drugs,'" he explained.

That is why he said it is important to have a strong after-care program where recovering addicts are given a sort of support system in their daily war on addiction.

Termulo went on to explain that it is a venue for recovering addicts to talk about how they are moving on with their lives.

"Kasi ano ba ginagawa natin sa drug addict? We work on his emotional, his physical, his intellectual, his spiritual sides while in rehab," he said. "Ano'ng mga susunod du'n na core areas ng buhay? His financial, his marriage, his profession."

(What do we do with drug addicts? We work on their emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual sides while in rehab. What core areas of life will come next? His finances, marriage, and profession.)

If a person who finished rehab is returning to a broken marriage, he said it will be time to say goodbye.

"Ang basic rule: stay away from negative friends, stay away from negative environments. If that environment is toxic to you, get out, he said.

Termulo is currently running a newly-founded private rehab center in Quezon City called Happy New Beginnings.

In his daily war on addiction, Gutierrez admitted that he had his fair share of let-downs, which came a few months after he finished his rehab.

He was having difficulty adjusting to his new life, especially after a school rejected his application because of his background. Gutierrez abandoned his plan of finishing his high school education and looked for a job instead.

He ended up working in a factory where he found himself again in the company of drug users. Eventually, he relapsed. "Sabi ko sa sarili ko, 'Kaya ko na siguro 'to kahit pakonti-konti lang.' Hindi pala totoo 'yun," he recalled.

Lessons he had from rehab took Gutierrez to make a better choice. Knowing that he was about to go down into the pit of addiction once again, he immediately sought the help of Termulo.

He voluntarily underwent another rehab program, finished it in a month or so, and went on to work and help drug-dependents get their life back at the Happy New Beginnings rehab center.

Asked how he feels now that he is sober, he said that it is good. "Ngayon mas naa-appreciate ko na 'yung ibang tao. Tapos tuwing makikipagusap ako sa tita ko—pag seryoso, seryoso. Dati walang kaseryosohan 'yung buhay ko... Walang pupuntahan," he added. (Now I am better able to appreciate people. When I talk to my aunt, I can take things seriously. Before, I took nothing seriously. I was aimless.)

Gutierrez shared that he is now trying to make amends to his family for the mess he made. "Maganda ang naidulot sa 'kin ng pagre-rehab. Ang pinagmamalaki ko sa lahat ay natuto akong magdasal nang taimtim sa Diyos," he said.

(I'm so much better after undergoing rehab. One thing that I'm very proud of is that I learned to pray to God.)







Sunday, October 9, 2016

DSWD proposes community-based rehab for drug users

Posted By: The Mail Man - 7:45 PM
Proposed DSWD National Drug Rehabilitation Program
A proposed government program aims to "pave lasting solutions" for the country's drug problem.

According to Social Welfare secretary Judy Taguiwalo, the Philippines' drug problem should be addressed by aiming at its root causes, such as:
1. Poverty caused by lack of social support for many Filipinos,
2. Corruption in various levels in the various agencies of government, and
3. Lack of sustainable, productive employment for the poor.
Thus, the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) came up with the so-called "National Drug Rehabilitation Program," which aims to help drug dependents return to society as "productive members".

Under the program, drug dependents can undergo three pillars of interventions: center-based, community-based, and reintegration and transformation-focused.

Center-based interventions will be led by the health department, which is tasked to create a database or profile of surrenderers.

Community-based interventions will be led by the local government and Ugnayan ng Barangay at Simbahan, which will design a community-based rehabilitation centers.

Reintegration and transformation, meanwhile, will be led by the DSWD, which will provide aftercare services for recovering drug dependents.

The lead groups will be working with partner agencies such as the National Bureau of Investigation, Philippine National Police, Dangerous Drugs Board, Department of Interior and Local Government, and Technical and Skills Development Authority, among others.

This comprehensive program is in line with President Rodrigo Duterte's "personal request" for the creation of a program for drug dependents, Taguiwalo said during an event attended by advocates of women's rights and welfare on Thursday.

They already proposed a budget of P1.5 billion for use until 2017, and are awaiting word from the Department of Budget and Management, she said.

As of August 30, the police counted over half a million drug surrenderers.

Data from the ABS-CBN Investigative and Research Group also showed that as of October 7, 1,976 drug-related fatalities were reported since May 10.

The government's anti-drug campaign has been criticized by human rights groups and international bodies.

However, Duterte dismissed these comments, and said the administration did not sanction extrajudicial killings. He also reassured the public that the government is doing what it can to rehabilitate drug surrenderers.






Thursday, October 6, 2016

The Drug War: Execution at Cessna

Posted By: The Mail Man - 3:38 AM
Every family, says 26-year-old Ricardo, has a Jhay Lord. He was the impish one, the rascal, the one who filched money and laughed when he was caught. Jhay Lord was high sometimes, sulky other times. He cadged meals and cigarettes. He had children with two different women and left both infants with his mother when they were born. At 33, his income was unsteady, unlike the siblings who were married and employed. Once, in a fit of anger, he slammed a bench down his brother Jerome’s knee when he refused to lend Jhay Lord a light bulb. It took 3 months for the knee to heal.

They all made allowances for him – better, they say, that Jhay Lord bother them than anyone else.

A report from the Pasay City Police District 6 says that Jhay Lord Caindoy Clemente was jobless, and that he and his lover were “engaged in illegal drug activities.” Neighbors say he survived by scavenging trash at fast food joints for resale. His mother visited him often, worried about the ribs that showed through his skin.

He was high when the police arrested him in 2010. He had woken up in the night, walked out of the house, and was shooting up on the street when the police came to throw him into detention. That he was released 4 years later had less to do with his innocence than it did with the fact the police rarely appeared at his court hearings.

In spite – or because – of it all, it was Jhay Lord, the eldest, who was his mother Imelda's favorite. She sometimes called him her only son, even if there were 3 more boys in the family – Ricardo, Carmelo and Jerome. Ricardo is rueful when he calls Jhay Lord the family's prince.

Imelda says it was because Jhay Lord was affectionate. He would sling his arm around her, and remind her, often, to sleep early and eat well. She knew Jhay Lord was on drugs, as his father once was, before he died of a heart attack six years before. She would tell Jhay Lord, again and again, to return to the house in ParaƱaque City, where she promised to watch out for him and care for him and make sure he never went hungry again.

Jhay Lord understood that the streets had gone hot. He knew he was at risk. On the day before he was killed, he promised to come home.

Jhay Lord Clemente was not the best of fathers. He was not the best of sons, even if his mother loved him best. He was not a particularly useful citizen, and was often a burden on his family. He was a drug user, a criminal element, the creature whom the President of the Republic believes may or may not be human.
Asked if the killings could constitute crimes against humanity, the hero from the south waxed philosophical. He said many drug users were beyond rehabilitation. He said a war cannot be waged without killing.

“In the first place,” said Rodrigo Duterte, “I’d like to be frank with you: are they humans? What is your definition of a human being?”

According to the narrative now held acceptable under the administration of Rodrigo Duterte, Jhay Lord Clemente, 33, deserved to die.

The killings

The term is extrajudicial killing. It is a phrase that has leapt the double-spaced confines of human rights reports and left-wing press releases. It means murder at its core, but the term is often applied to a pattern of deaths among a particular group of people. Activists were targeted during the Marcos years, journalists and communists during the Arroyo administration.

An extrajudicial killing is specific. It requires planning and intent. It is outside the bounds of self-defense and the terms of engagement required of any declared war.

There are other words for this. Summary executions. Targeted killings. Congress chose to drop the term “to put things in proper perspective and correctly define the issue," further citing a Wikipedia definition defining extrajudicials as politically-motivated. The police now call them DUIs – Deaths Under Investigation.

In the weeks since Rodrigo Duterte became president of the Republic of the Philippines, the usage of the phrase has become so pervasive, so ubiquitous, that it has become regular street parlance for drug-related murders. It has earned for itself an acronym and its own hashtag following. Since the first of July until the 18th of September, according to numbers released by the Philippine National Police, there have been 2,128 people murdered in vigilante killings in 1,960 incidents across the country. The police report 196 suspects arrested, and 113 more at large.

The facts are often the same, although the specifics vary. A corpse is found along a curbside, sometime between 10 in the evening and 5 in the morning. The police come, sirens blaring, with the media nipping at their heels. Sometimes the wrists are trussed, sometimes the feet, often both. The bindings range from cable ties, steel wiring, packing tape, rope, or the pre-cut plastic cables used to snap grocery bags closed. A scrawled sign – addict, pusher, user – is sometimes left propped by the body or somewhere close by.

Those who were killed on scene are often found face down, the backs of their heads a mess of blood and brain. Others are already dead when they are left at street corners, their eyes and mouths wrapped in black tape in a grotesque parody of masked superheroes.

In the worst instances, corpses are found with heads swathed in packing tape. Scene of the crime operatives use plastic cutters with a light hand, tracing the jawline from ear to ear with the thin blades. The tape is pulled away, millimeter by millimeter, the effort stretching the mouths into macabre grins. The eyes are almost always open. Details from further investigation will include, among others, a rag stuffed down the dead man’s throat. The verdict is suffocation.

Although no official data has been released, the dead listed in media spot reports range in age from 20 to 50. They are mostly men, although an occasional woman has been found. Pasay City is a particularly popular dumping ground, with 5 men found dead one night near the end of July.

In the case of Jhay Lord Clemente, 33, killed with his lover Marlyn across No. 6 Cessna Street, Pasay, local watchmen reported two men on a motorcycle racing out of Bac 1 Street, going north away from Cessna. No plate number was noted down, or descriptions released.

The perpetrators, they said, were going too fast.

The woman

Jhay Lord met Marlyn for the first time at a canteen. It was early in the morning. She was looking for a spoon. Jhay Lord obliged.

Those who know her will say Marlyn Cortez was not beautiful. She was animated and cheerful, the long face often laughing as she washed laundry by the creek side. She was a skinny woman, no more than 5 feet tall, her hair short and dyed blonde whenever she could afford it. Her friends in Cessna called her Miley when she swaggered down the street, for pop star Miley Cyrus.

There are people who will say she was a bit of a tomboy because of the swagger – although they will also say a swagger is necessary to survive in Cessna Street. She had a 12-year-old child who lived with her at No. 6 Cessna, the result of a liaison with a petty thief named Matti Arsilla, whose career in crime involved constant visits to the local jail. The police say Marlyn and Matti were known drug personalities. They say the end of Maryln's relationship with Matti gave village officials hope that she would change.

Matti was in jail when she met Jhay Lord. When he moved in, neighbors called Marlyn Jhay Lord's wife.

The words husband and wife are used loosely here. Jhay Lord was Marlyn’s husband. Marlyn was Matti’s wife. Matti would come out of jail hunting for Marlyn, and Marlyn would run and Matti would chase and there would be yelling and weeping and then they would go home together, while Jhay Lord found his way back to his mother. Then Matti would steal, and Matti would get caught, and Matti would go to jail. Jhay Lord would return to Matti’s wife Marlyn.

No marriages ever occurred among any of the 3, but it was understood that relationships were serious as long as they lasted. At the time they were killed, it was understood that Marlyn was Jhay Lord's woman, cooking for him and cleaning for him and sitting with him on the pink couch across No. 6 Cessna Street.

Jhay Lord loved Marlyn, say his brothers. They say she loved him back.

The execution

Cessna Street marks the border of Pasay and ParaƱaque. A creek follows along its edges, a shifting spill of slop so packed with garbage it is almost possible to stand at the center without sinking. Both creek and street run deep inside Village 190, an embarrassment inside a neighborhood of middle-class houses and two-way roads. Village officials have told police they were pleased when the teetering shanties were demolished in 2015. They say it was a drug nest, with dens scattered down its length. Only a few of the relocated residents have returned. Among them was Marlyn Cortez.

At its widest, Cessna spans 3 feet across, so narrow that a gunman, were he so inclined, would have to jump off a motorcycle at the mouth of the main road, turn a corner down a narrow block, and travel by foot down a hundred feet of rubble and rot just to get in range of No. 6 Cessna Street.

That a gunman had done exactly that was perhaps the reason why every light but one had gone dark along Cessna in the early hours of September 7.

The village watchmen found two bodies. Marlyn was sitting on the pink couch when they found her, bleeding but still alive. The watchmen lifted her and rushed her into a tricycle for the drive to Pasay General Hospital. Within minutes, Marlyn, lover to both Jhay Lord and Matti, she of the swagger and the laughter and the dyed blonde hair, was dead inside the blanket they had wrapped her body in. Police found shells from two guns, a 9 millimeter, and a .45 caliber.

Jhay Lord sustained at least 7 gunshot wounds – two shots to the gut, one on his chest, one to the side of his neck, one on his wrist, another on his forearm, and a last to the corner of his right eye.

The aftermath

It was a neighbor who brought the Clemente family the news. Imelda woke up first. She was told her son had been shot down Cessna way.

Don’t joke, she said, and woke up Jerome.

The drive in Jerome’s tricycle took half an hour. Imelda says she went blank. At Cessna, Ricardo and Jerome ran past her to the crime scene. Three brothers were at Cessna Street in the early hours of Wednesday, September 7. One of them lay on the ground, legs akimbo, arms flung to the side, dead eyes open to the sky. The two who lived clutched at each other just behind the yellow police line and howled.

Son of a bitch, son of a bitch, those fucking sons of bitches.

Imelda lurched after them. Reed thin, all sharp elbows and bony knees, she might have been any age between 40 and 60, so distorted was her face that it was impossible to tell how old she was. She dragged herself by her arms as if her legs were broken, scrawny fingers scrabbling for purchase in the hollows between cinderblocks.

Her words were unintelligible, if they were words at all. She might have been saying her son’s name. She might have been saying no.

The gaggle of cameras and microphones made way for her, opening a path through the narrow passageway, only to enclose her again in a circle of harsh led light. Shutters clicked. Questions were shouted out. Do you know him? Who was he to you? What was his name, when did you see him last, how old was he, did he have enemies – was he involved in drugs?

She answered, a word at a time. The thin shriek was caught between a wail and a plea. She said her son’s name was Jhay Lord. She said he was 34, or maybe 33. She said he was a good boy.

She never saw his body, only the barefoot leg stretched limp past the pink couch. She said later she couldn't have borne seeing him dead, that if she saw him she might die too. So she screamed and wept, swayed and fainted. Her new husband dragged her up by the armpits and carried her to a bench by the side of the creek. She was gone a full minute, eyes closed, head lolling on skinny shoulders. When her eyes cleared, the screaming began again, along with the questions.

Tell us if he was an addict. Tell us if he did drugs. Tell us, tell us, tell us what you know.

He was a good boy, she said. He was a good boy.

Jhay Lord’s 15-year-old daughter Shaemie saw his body after the cops strung up the yellow line. She came dressed for school, in a pink checked uniform, her hair still wet. She did not howl as her uncles did. She didn’t weep, as her grandmother did. She stepped up to the crime scene to see, leaned past her uncles, then walked away without a word.

She said the man she saw did not look like her father.

The wake

No official report has been written. Even the autopsy report is yet to be filed – investigators say there is a bottleneck at the morgue given the rise in killings. The police are pursuing multiple theories. Drugs could be a reason, or the woman he lived with. One theory goes that it was Matti Arcilla, Marlyn's lover, who ordered Jhay Lord's death from jail.

The police have sent word through village officials asking Marlyn's family to come in for interview. The family is yet to appear. The police themselves are unable to visit. There are too few of them, they say, with too many deaths and far too many spot reports to write. Besides, if her family had nothing to hide, says SPO1 Melvin Garcia, they would have appeared at the precinct to demand justice. The killers have not been identified, and remain at large.

The Clementes held the wake along a highway in Tambo, ParaƱaque. It was Ricardowho borrowed cash to pay the morgue for the release of his brother’s body. It was also Ricardo who kept food coming while the family sat in plastic benches around the thin white coffin. It was Ricardo, finally, who worried about the burial, and who went to city hall in the hope there was money to be had.

A photographer who covered the story made a public call for funds. Jhay Lord, she wrote, was an “easygoing, fun-loving man.” She wrote that he liked hopia and basketball jerseys and dogs. She wrote that he had two children and a dog named Puppy.

The donations poured in. Jhay Lord was buried in his baseball cap on Sunday, September 18. His sister Jenny Anne called via Skype from Dubai, where she was three months into a domestic contract. His 3 brothers stood around his coffin. White balloons were released. Eighty, maybe a hundred people attended.
Jhay Lord's family will raise the daughters he left behind. They will send the girls to school and pay for whatever they need, just as they did while Jhay Lord lived. It is not very different from before, except this time, Shaemie cannot slip into Cessna to visit her absentee father. She knows her father used drugs. She understands the reason why he may have been killed. It was wrong, she said. He was still her father.

Shaemie is afraid. She doesn’t want to lose anyone else. She is afraid someone will kill her uncles too.

The dead

A man was executed at half past two in the morning of Wednesday, September 7.

It remains uncertain why he died. It could have been because he was a drug user. It might have been because he was a criminal. It may have been any number of reasons, but whatever those reasons were, Jhay Lord Clemente was murdered on a street named Cessna in a village whose roads include Constellation, Comet and at least three of the Apollo missions. He was left lying on his back, arms spread, dead eyes staring up at an empty sky.

His family mourns him, as many families have mourned in the 10 weeks since a corpse was found at the bottom of the MacArthur bridge early in July. Yellow tape now loops over cities in ribbons, down Roxas Boulevard, past Parola, through Arzadon Compound in Dagupan, around a bloodied jeep parked on Ilaya Street, to stream over corpses scattered the length and breadth of Pasay City.
Every family, says Ricardo, has a Jhay Lord.

Jhay Lord Clemente was not the best of fathers. He was not the best of sons. He was not a particularly useful citizen, and was often a burden to his family. He was a drug user, the sort of man the President of the Republic believes may or may not be human.

According to the narrative now held acceptable under the administration of Rodrigo Duterte, Jhay Lord Clemente deserved to die.

“In the first place,” said Duterte, “I’d like to be frank with you: are they humans? What is your definition of a human being?” 

Source: http://www.rappler.com/nation/146652-war-on-drugs-execution-cessna






Tuesday, August 30, 2016

DOH plans to include drug rehab in PhilHealth coverage

Posted By: The Mail Man - 9:55 PM
A two-week drug rehabilitation program might become included in PhilHealth's coverage, Health Secretary Paulyn Ubial said on Thursday.

Ubial said this would be the most cost-effective program the Department of Health (DOH) could provide — in line with the Duterte administration's campaign against illegal drugs.

She said the DOH was yet to discuss the exact coverage costs with PhilHealth.

"Unfortunately, hindi kakayanin yung prolonged residential services which can take six to twelve months. So yung ipapasok natin sa Philhealth is acute phase, which lasts up to two weeks," she said.

In the acute phase, patients receive active but short-term treatment for their condition.
Ubial said the DOH was looking at both medicinal and non-medicinal detoxification programs. She said medical treatment might be more expensive compared to providing counseling, psycho-social support, and debriefing.

Senator Tito Sotto earlier filed Senate Bill No. 8, which mandates PhilHealth to include drug addiction treatment in its services.

The government also said plans to build rehabilitation centers across the country were on the table.







Monday, August 22, 2016

Good People, Bad People

Posted By: The Mail Man - 10:47 PM
(This is the story of a drug addict. Names of persons and locations have been changed so as to protect the identities of those involved) 

Carlito was born out of wedlock. The son of a prominent member of Philippine society. Even though he was “outside” of grace, his father always looked out for his material needs and even wants. He grew up with is mother who belonged to an “old” family in their home town and the family or clan although not rich were also recognized as one of the influential clans in that town. His mother belonged in the social circles that mattered and was also well educated.

Carlito’s education was not found wanting. A kindergarten in one of the most exclusive gated communities in the country, grade school and high school ran by a large religious order and college in one of the top 3 Philippine educational institutions. There were no problems with grades. Carlito grew up knowing culture and the good things in life. He was also grounded in such a way that playmates as he was growing up consisted of children from all classes of society. Although being “angat” among the other children in the neighborhood came along with frictions but as they said, they are all kids with a couple of rough spots just like any other.

Even early on, he possessed multiple intelligences. Good at academics, going to NCAA games to cheer for his eventual school, musically endowed (piano and guitar oido) and good looks to boot!

But like in any other person, he also had a shadow life. In high school he discovered that he was bisexual.  

But in college, he had his own clique that included sons of prominent families also. But then again, Carlito was also a child of his community. He learned to do drugs.

At this time, he was already a professional. Given the opportunity, he went abroad to work. He wanted to find his place in the world as what was his potential. He excelled in his field and thrived abroad. But also, he was human. He wanted to have happiness that is not considered normal. He suffered betrayal in a relationship and then his downward spiral happened.

He got imprisoned abroad due to drug related offenses but was released and deported fortunately because of connections as was his birthright.

Unfortunately, his emotional and mental health was already affected and the use of Shabu further distorted his values. He was “rehabilitated” more than once but still the problem persisted and even worsened despite the efforts of friends and family.

Now, he is a shell of his former self. But he never committed any crime. He is a victim.

I ask, is it grounds for cardboard justice? Shall be be terminated with prejudice? Will his death solve the drug problem?

Is Carlito good or bad?






Tuesday, August 2, 2016

An Addict, Alive and in Recovery

Posted By: Jose Maria Salimuot - 7:46 PM


If President Duterte were elected 10 years ago, I’d be dead by now.

The local police would have asked me and my trusted “source” to stop using shabu, but I wouldn’t have stopped. Neither would my favorite source, who was just as hooked as I was. He was a childhood friend and, believe it or not, the evils of drugs and the drug trade did not destroy our friendship.

You see, that's the thing. We’d probably turn ourselves in to the authorities and sign what they wanted us to sign out of fear for our lives – just as the hundreds of thousands of “surrenderees” are doing now.  But once the craving or “giyang” sets in, we would have found ways to get our fix. We were intelligent and creative enough to find means, however dire the situation would seem. As I would later learn, addiction is a complex disease – and not merely a series of bad choices or bad behaviors – and our addiction (or at least my addiction, as I can only speak for myself), had established a firm hold on us. Rationality and fear would not have sufficed to make me stop and “change."

Despite our fears and the dangers that faced us, we would have still “scored” from our most secret of sources, because we were “connected” well enough to the higher-ups in our province's drug trade. I can only imagine how easy it would have been for me to become a recipient of the currently prevailing “cardboard justice.” It wouldn't have mattered who killed me or why. The possibilities were countless.

But instead of marking me off a hitlist, our local police coordinated with my rehab center's director, and assisted them when they picked me up from our small town and brought me to rehab. I did not resist or attempt to run or fight. But even if I did, I don’t think they would have shot me dead.

I can still vividly recall how it happened. It was like a scene straight out of a movie: everything came to a standstill at our local market as people watched our Deputy Chief escort me to the precinct, where my wife and my mother – who seemed to have betrayed me – signed the commitment papers and turned me over to rehab.

Because the police back then were mindful of the guidelines they had to follow while performing their drug-related duties – even after I’ve had several run-ins with the law and sleepovers at our local prison – I had a chance to recover. My relatives, my wife, my mother, and my friends – who still believed in me and in the possibility of change and recovery – pulled in all the love, support, and resources I needed to bring me where I am now: a recovering alcoholic-addict; a functioning, productive member of society; a devoted husband and father; and a gainfully employed IT professional.

But as happy as I am that I am in recovery, I am saddened and alarmed by what is happening right now. I can only reiterate that for an addict, getting away from addiction is not as simple as deciding to stop. It has been a decade-long struggle for me, and I am still struggling to stay clean and sober, one day at a time.

I am recovering. But to recover, one has to be alive.

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